Conflict in Interpersonal bshs 385

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Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships
Katy Norris
July 27, 2015
Audra Stinson
Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships
Conflict is a normal part of everyday life. Conflict occurs in many different relationship types. Conflict is known as a disagreement between two or more individuals. The disagreement can be due to, incompatible goals, certain interferences, or competition. Whatever the reason may be, we all deal with conflict at some point. Conflict happens quite often in romantic relationships. My fiancé and I have encountered several, during the 6 years we have been together. We have found ways to work through each one. Conflict has advantages, as well as disadvantages. In a romantic relationship, some advantages would be, releasing stress and emotions and increasing way to help find solutions in solving the situation at hand. However, disadvantages do occurs. Some disadvantages include; developing negative feelings toward one another, and creating trust issues. “Conflicts can be productive, creating, deeper understanding, closeness and respect, or they can be destructive, causing resentment, and hostility” (Nadig, 2010). My relationship with my fiancé consist of conflict of interest. We disagree a lot about money, and how it should be spent. Also, we find disagreement in talking to other outside our relationship, about personal issues. When this happens, we normally sit down and try to talk things out. This doesn’t always seem to work. When talking doesn’t work how we plan, he usually gets up and walks away. If he walks off, we will ignore the issue. This just seem to cause more conflict in the future, when the topic come back up. What I could do differently would be, bringing up the topic again, once he has calmed down. This will help, by trying to solve the problem ahead of time. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right. When I make an attempt to overcome our conflicts, it reflects my family background and how I was raised to deal with personal issues. My family was always real close and we would talk out our issues, and wouldn’t be able to leave the table until we solves the problem. In my relationship, this doesn’t happen how I would like. When my fiancé and I are in the middle of a disagreement, I find myself sitting with my arms crossed. I find myself rolling my eyes a lot, when he make smart remarks. Nonverbal communication includes body language, tone of voice and facial expressions, all of which can be misinterpreted. When nonverbal cues are misinterpreted, it can create conflict in a relationship. I believe these nonverbal cues portrays my lack of interest, in what he is saying and that I am not taking him seriously, or listening fully. Attentive listening is a very important quality to have. This is the key to gaining understanding to help solve, or resolve conflict. Listening actively when conflict occurs, will help find a solution faster than if you didn’t listen. Being calm and listening to your partners side and hearing things from his or her point of view, will help you have a better understanding. I express this to my fiancé all the time. He will listen to what I have to say and I will do the same with him. This allows us to come to an agreement more promptly. If we aren’t listening to each other this created more conflict between us. The ability to listen and hear what another person is saying, is needed to work through conflicted situations. “Although we all like to think we’re saying exactly what we mean, that’s not always the case, especially when we’re talking to someone who uses a style very different then our own” (Carter, 2011). During conflict resolution, I...